Attack of the B's!

Chatterbox (1977), Tom DeSimone


A sexy lady's vagina inexplicably begins to talk at the most inopportune times. Have I got you hooked yet? Penny's vagina, adorably nicknamed "Virginia," begins to take on a personality and voice of her own, somewhere between Mae West and Don Rickles. After Virginia causes Penny to lose her man (Ted, who was kind of an egomaniac, not to mention unattractive) and her job as a hairstylist, she seeks help from her psychiatrist, Dr. Pearl. Unfortunately, Dr. Pearl is an opportunist, and sees Virginia as he and Penny's chance to become rich and famous. Penny is completely mortified by her newfound talent, but I suppose if you can't change something, you've got to embrace it.

I felt very uncomfortable during the scenes in which Virginia was performing, particularly the first one, where Penny was stark nude onstage in front of hundreds of men essentially raping her with their eyes. This is a sexploitation film of the most devious sort. You go to see a movie about a talking vagina, expecting to see said vagina, and all you get are boobs. Although Penny is always somewhere between rarely and barely clothed, Virginia is always covered in what I would call a "vagina tube top," or "lady's codpiece." I bet Chatterbox made a lot of money a few bucks from this underhanded technique.

I also liked the mentions of Virginia putting Gloria Steinem to shame, and Betty Friedan challenging Virginia to a debate. As if this were, in some way, even a remotely feminist film. But don't get me wrong- this movie is not malicious in any way. By even conjuring up those names, it assures me that I was correct in concluding that the filmmakers were in on the joke just as much as the viewer. While it is incredibly amateur in skill (e.g. most visible boom mic ever about 6 minutes in), that gives it a sense of innocence that you won't find in most sexploitation films. If you are looking for a fun, fluff-filled way to pass 70 minutes, I would suggest it. Add it to my list of ultra-polarizing date movies.

Grade: A-

P.S. My mom is cooler than your mom, because she recommended this to me!