Attack of the B's!

Hell House (2001), George Ratliff

I'm sure you've all heard of a Hell House. "Haunted Houses" set up by Christian fanatics to show us heathens what will happen to us if we continue down our respective paths of sin. The Trinity Church's concept has spawned thousands of Hell Houses across the nation.

I can't speak for every Hell House, but this one was particularly wrought with contradiction. First of all, the idea of doing such a thing for profit in the first place seems very Un-Christian. It was made up of several rooms, each depicting a behavior that could potentially send you straight to Hell. That is, unless you accept Christ as your Lord and Savior. But I'll get to that later. The situations depicted in the Hell House were perfect examples of Christians' two biggest fears: female sexuality, and homosexuality. The teenage, unmarried girl who has sex, gets pregnant, and gets an abortion nearly gets sent to Hell. But what of the boy who got her pregnant? The blasphemous homosexual male contracts AIDS, refuses Christ, and gets sent directly to Hell.

Some of the scenes are just so mind blowingly inaccurate and out of touch, you can't help but giggle. Like the rave scene, created by people who have obviously never been to a rave. Or the occult scene, in which they accidentally(?) made a "pentagram" which was actually a Star of David. Women also don't usually bleed out and die from abortions. And blaming a girl for her childhood molestation at the hands of a relative? Yikes...

At the end of Hell House, you must make a decision. If you exit through one door, there are loads of people in there, ready and willing to "save" you. It's a full contact thing, complete with speaking in tongues. If you exit through the other door... well, sorry dudes, but you're going to Hell.

This film was fascinating. One scene in particular, where a group of teenage hellions approach Trinity's pastor (and he actually takes the time to answer all their questions), sticks in my mind. Both parties are shockingly respectful towards one another, and the outcome is actually pretty positive. Although, I admit, it is just a little bit tough to take a bunch of kids in Slipknot gear seriously. I definitely recommend it to any other atheists out there, but I think Christians will find it interesting too. If ever there was a question in your mind why people are turned off by Christianity, Hell House has more than enough answers for you.

Grade: A