In a perfect world, Steve Martin would be my older, wiser, charming, intelligent, and HILARIOUS boyfriend. We would eat dinner at 4:00 with a senior discount. He could introduce me to Tina Fey, maybe even Bill Murray. So what if he's old enough to be my grandpa? Have you seen him lately? He's still a babe. It's no secret that I worship Mr. Martin, and that The Jerk is my all-time favorite comedy. So, a few weeks ago, I noticed that Cinemageddon had a featured torrent entitled "The Jerk, Too." Without even reading about it or thinking twice, I downloaded it. Bad choice, my friends. Very. Bad. Choice.
The Jerk, Too pretty much, for lack of a better term, donkey-punches its predecessor. Navin Johnson goes from being a sheltered, naive jerk in the original film, to being a mentally handicapped, possibly autistic man-boy in The Jerk, Too. Navin is played lethargically by Mark Blankfeld, whose IMDb reads like a "Worst Movies Ever" list. He does somewhat resemble Steve Martin from certain angles, if you glance at him via your periphery when you're drunk or hanging upside down from your ceiling. He pretty much phones this one in anyways, so I wouldn't recommend going to the trouble.
I understand that this was intended to be a "reworking" of the original, but it's not even in the same spirit. It seemed as though, judging by the cutesy theme song and opening credits, that this was intended to be some kind of pilot? Thank your lucky stars that it never got picked up. It was kinda like a comedy, but someone forgot to write jokes. This "movie" insulted my intelligence and sullied my already outrageously high opinion of Steve Martin, due to his credit as executive producer. One can only assume that my Stevey had some alimony payments to make or something. This was TORTURE to sit through. This abomination is the kind of thing that the devil has playing on a loop in hell. Maybe this should be my new tagline: "I sit through shitty movies, so you don't have to."
Grade: Z
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