Altered States (1980), Ken Russell


Eddie Jessup, a Harvard professor, has been conducting experiments to prove his theory that schizophrenics are not "crazy," their minds merely process in a different level of consciousness which non-schizos will never know. He utilizes sensory deprivation tanks, and hallucinogenic drugs to carry out his experiments. He becomes so engrossed in his research that he begins to test himself. He hears of a drug used by a tribe in Mexico, which they claim can take them back to not only their own first memory, but the first memory of the first man. They allow him to join in on their ritual, and he has the strangest hallucinations he has ever experienced. He convinces them to allow him to return to America with a good amount of the substance, and continues to experiment on himself. He ingests so much of the drug that he actually begins to genetically devolve.

Would you believe this idiot has a hot wife and two adorable little girls (one of which just happens to be Drew Barrymore)? Well he does, and therein lies the other problem. He basically abandons his family because the experiment takes over his life. Love no longer matters to him, only the pursuit of knowledge. He also calls himself an atheist, so there is a lot of really awesome, really blasphemous imagery in his hallucinations. However, I think he wants to believe in God, but God has given him nothing to believe in, and his faith or rejection of it has been a major lifelong struggle for him. In the end, he discovers the "ultimate truth," the meaning of life. I won't share it with you, but it is a damn powerful ending.

This was a really weird movie. It was written by Paddy Chayefsky, the same gentleman that wrote the media-skewering classic, Network. However, finding someone to direct it was nearly impossible. Ken Russell was actually the 27th director approached about the project. While in production, Chayefsky was so displeased with the way things had turned out that he removed his name from the project before the film was even finished. Ken Russell is kind of a weird choice, because he is most known for his work in softcore pornography, and campfests like Tommy and The Devils. I must say, I was rather impressed by the hallucination sequences. I think I got high just from watching this film. I also love the fact that William Hurt's film career started with this movie.

I would recommend this to lovers of campy science fiction or drug movies. It's definitely not for everyone.

Best Line: "I'm a man in search of his true self. How archetypically American can you get? We're all trying to fulfill ourselves, understand ourselves, get in touch with ourselves, face the reality of ourselves, explore ourselves, expand ourselves. Ever since we dispensed with God we've got nothing but ourselves to explain this meaningless horror of life."

Grade: B+

Hellraiser (1987), Clive Barker

This is maybe my favorite horror film of all time. Since it was shown as a double feature at the same bar as Nightbreed, and Jon has never seen it before, I decided it was allowed to be on the list.

Frank Cotton is a huge perv. You would think that boning his brother's wife six ways to Sunday would be taking it to the limit enough for him, but no. He goes in search of the Lament Configuration, basically a Pandora's Box of both pleasure and pain, delivered straight to your door by four hideous S&M creatures direct from hell. I don't suppose Frank counted on going right back to hell with them, but I'd say he deserved it.

Frank's brother (Larry) and his tramp of a wife (Julia) move back into what I believe we are to surmise is their former home. After they left (or abandoned it?), Frank apparently used it as his own personal den of sin, and hence, this is where he met his fate. As the couple is moving in, Larry has a very minor accident. But this small amount of bloodshed is all it takes to bring Frank back from hell. But really, it only brings him halfway back. In order to bring himself back fully, so that he can get back to sexin' Julia. He enlists her in his quest for more blood, and since she seems to have nothing better to do, she obliges.

All the while, Larry's pesky daughter (Kirsty), who is maybe the only person in this film that is not a complete dumbass, discovers creepy Uncle Frank and the little magic box. She figures out the Lament Configuration herself, and the Cenobites return. Since Kirsty isn't really into the whole S&M thing, she sells out her uncle in exchange for her own freedom. The Cenobites battle it out with Uncle Franky, with deliciously gory results.

If you haven't seen this, I don't know what to tell you, other than you are missing out on one of the greatest horror films of all time. If not the greatest, depending on what you're into.

Best Line: "JE-SUS..... WEP-T."

Grade: A+

Nightbreed (1990), Clive Barker

This is probably the only movie I've ever seen where monsters are good guys, and humans are bad guys. Said monsters reside beneath a graveyard, in the city of Midian. They never venture outside of Midian, and therefore, go on about their existence causing no harm or annoyance to the inhabitants of the surrounding town. But alas, the mere fact that the "naturals" know that they are there is enough. David Cronenberg plays a psychiatrist bent on eradicating the monsters, at any cost. However, it seems that he himself desires to be a monster but was not allowed? And therein lies the reason for revenge. Or not? It's kind of a hard movie to explain.

A lot of people say this is an allegory of being gay. There are a few lines that really, really stick out when you watch the movie with this in mind. But I guess you could say that most of Barker's work is a metaphor of the many facets of being a gay male in a hetero-dominated world. So essentially, he is simply writing what he knows.

I watched this last night at a bar, on a projector. I wish I was rich, I would buy myself a projector, because that's the way movies should be watched. Anyways, I think I may have been the only person there who actually enjoyed this film. Most people found it to be boring and cheesy. If only the Director's Cut were available! The studio cut out about 25 minutes of Barker's original film, attempting to make it more marketable as a slasher movie of sorts. All they really did was cut out things that were pretty integral to making it an interesting story and added in things that left it open for sequels. Sequels that never even happened. Thanks a lot, Hollywood!

David Cronenberg was perfect in this movie, with those steely eyes and those weird ass glasses. And his hair! My god, that man has a head of hair that even I am jealous of. Craig Sheffer seems like he's probably a douche. The dude who played the sheriff? Clearly more stoked on being in a movie than learning to act. The only boobs in this are monster boobs, so sorry pervs. Regardless, it is a pretty cool movie. A must-see for Barker fans. Keep your fingers crossed for that Director's Cut, dudes!

Grade: B

Blow Out (1981), Brian De Palma


John Travolta plays a soundman working for a cheesy B-movie director in this update of Antonioni's Blowup. Tired of hearing the same old sound effects, the director demands that he go out and record some new ones. Trying to capture night sounds late one evening, he unintentionally records a murder. The plot gets pretty Kennedy-esque from here on out, and Travolta quickly finds himself in the middle of a political conspiracy.

I would consider this to be Travolta's last good role until Quentin Tarantino revived his career in 1994, by giving him the part of Vincent Vega in Pulp Fiction. (Can you name one genuinely good thing he's done since then? I can't.) Blow Up is actually one of Tarantino's top three favorite movies (Rio Bravo and Taxi Driver are the other two), so naturally I felt that I had to watch it. But I digress. John Travolta is awesome in this movie. Nancy Allen was actually pretty annoying. I realize that was the point, but I think she overdid it. And John Lithgow's part could have been so much more evil! If you're looking for a Hollywood ending, I would suggest looking elsewhere, because this shit's bleak.

Grade: B+

They Live (1988), John Carpenter


John Carpenter is a genius. I mean, the dude cast "Rowdy" Roddy Piper in a parable about consumer culture. I find this movie fascinating because on the surface, it seems like just another cheesy B-movie. But it's actually a pretty clever social statement. Rowdy Roddy plays a nameless drifter who comes to a nameless city looking for work and a patch of dirt to sleep on. He notices some strange happenings at a nearby church, and decides that snooping around in there is an awesome idea. It actually is, because he ends up stumbling upon the raddest sunglasses in movie history. They allow him to see the world for what it really is- full of subliminal messages intended to manipulate the middle class into consuming every product in sight, obeying authority, reproducing, etc. and aliens disguised as upper crust snobs. The always excellent character actor Keith David plays his reluctant sidekick. The two of them have a bizarre 5 1/2 minute long fight scene that will be parodied to death till the end of time. Eventually the aliens figure out that normal people can see them, and start laying the smack down on middle class losers. The ending is not what you'd expect. It comes totally out of left field. If I say anything more, I'd be giving too much away.

Best Line: "You... you look like your face fell in the cheese dip back in 1957." -Nada

Grade: A

Network (1976), Sidney Lumet

Howard Beale, a network newsanchor, is given his two weeks notice due to poor ratings. This, combined with a number of other unfortunate events in his life, lead him to announce his decision to kill himself live on TV on the night of his final broadcast. Instead of getting Beale the help he so obviously desparately needs, his job is reinstated and his prophetic ramblings are exploited to gain viewers for the dying network. Predictably, it works, and Beale becomes an overnight sensation. But what goes up must come down, and such success has a lofty price.

Lumet and writer Paddy Chayefsky called Network a "reflection" of American media. Although it comes off as a satire to some, they were merely presenting the harsh truth behind what we see on the 6:00 news. This film is as relevant now as it ever was. Especially considering the reality TV explosion of the past decade, Network still rings all too true. What shocked me most of all was the things that the news was covering back then (recession, high oil prices, Russia, unemployment, etc.) are the same things we hear about constantly now. 32 years later, it's still the same old shit.

This is probably one of the best movies I have ever seen in my life. I never thought I would like a movie consisting mostly of a bunch of old white guys so much! The acting is so powerful, and the monologues in this movie are so moving, I had a lump in my throat during a few scenes. I seriously can't believe it took me 23 years to watch this movie, especially since it's on cable all the time!

(I'm not even going to bother with a "Best Line" for this movie. I would have to copy and paste the whole goddamn script. )

Grade: A+

Casual Fridays (2002?), TV CARNAGE



Oh how I love video mixtapes. Crazy Dave Tape 2 was my personal favorite... buuuut this one is just as good, in a different way. CDT2 is super fast-paced, but Casual Fridays lets things linger more and allows for the viewer to laugh at things that are worth more than just a passing glance. And never will I ever get the monstrosity above out of my head.

Grade: A+